We’ve come a long way as a culture when it comes to demystifying sex and pleasure, especially for women. With new online communities, podcasts, educators, and sexual wellness brands popping up every day, it might be easy to believe we’ve finally reached our collective sexual awakening. And yet, it’s just as easy to find online communities, podcasts, influencers, and even legislators pushing back, disguising their criticism as a desire for “traditional values” or “decency.” This completely misconstrues what sex education and wellness are all about.

Sex positivity and sexual wellness aren’t some hedonistic fever dream — not at all! It’s the unfiltered, freely available education about the development of our bodies and our desires — and an established understanding of the language of consent and healthy boundaries. It is how we care for our bodies, how we cultivate intimacy with others, and how we learn to have safe experiences exploring with ourselves and with others.

Human sexuality is a fundamental facet of our lives, one of the most powerful experiences we can have in our bodies. From puberty to parenthood, menopause and beyond, our bodies go through incredible hormonal fluctuations that alter our abilities, comfort levels, and pleasure. Luckily, there are tools out there for us to learn how to navigate each of these stages, so that we can nurture our sexuality as it changes.

What is sex tech?

I don’t know about you, but when I hear the word “technology,” I always think of electronics. Gadgets, gizmos, things that need to be plugged in and require a password to work. While we will definitely be looking at items and brands that fit into this category, we’re going to be looking at the broader definition of “tech” here, too — innovative tools and experiences that are designed to make intimacy, connection, and sexual health and pleasure more accessible.

Who is this list for?

While the broader sex tech industry out there has devices, doo-dads, and platforms galore targeting every single being on the planet, this list is going to be geared slightly more toward women. Designed either by women or for the female gaze, mind, and body, these brands are here to empower you to embrace your pleasure, your sexual health, and your desires at every age.

So, here are my favorite things to use, wear, listen to, and more for nurturing sexual wellness and acceptance. Enjoy!

1. LELO

Best For | Everyone (LGTBQI+ inclusive)
Features | Luxury sex toys and accessories for women, men, and couples, lingerie; sexual wellness products and supplements; education blog, erotic stories, advice column, and app.
Price | Varies

It’s no secret that I am a big fan of LELO — I’ve had the pleasure and privilege to review their best-selling vibrators, sonic clitoral massagers, and a multitasking three-point stimulator that I can’t stop talking about. In my opinion, these toys are the gold standard, with their ergonomic designs, silky soft silicone, and versatile settings that allow you to hone in on exactly the right setting and intensity level for your mood and your body. Their toys are truly innovative and fully user-friendly, with features like app compatibility for partner control and 100% waterproof designs, and their website goes above and beyond to educate users about all the details and specifications, complete with animated how-tos and illustrated guides.

The brand is serious about making products that empower everyone to own their pleasure without shame — but they’re stylish and cheeky too. Check out this ad for their stamina trainer & stroker F2S™, a male masturbator designed to strengthen the pelvic floor. A commercial that takes the common yet taboo topic of male sexual performance and treats it like a hot international heist film? Heck yeah they did. I love the smart, savvy way they’re busting through barriers and innovating not only their products but also the way we talk about sex.

LELO’s call to action is, fittingly, “Come together.” The Swedish luxury sex and wellness brand is on a much bigger mission than simply making premium toys (but they do that too!). In their own words, they are “a self-care movement aimed at those who know that satisfaction transcends gender, orientation, race, and age. We’re offering the experience of ecstasy without shame, the pleasure of discovering all the wonders of one’s body, arming our customers with confidence that leads to a fulfilled intimate life.” Preach.

Shop Lelo
Two cylindrical massage guns with colored lids and transparent windows displaying red and blue interiors, placed on a dark surface with an orange-lit background.
A person wearing pink underwear holds a black, double-ended massage gun against their upper thigh.

Good Gear Partner

2. Quinn

Best For | Hearing people (though there are transcripts available)
Features | Mobile and web app; original audio platform for erotica, meditation, and sleep aids
Price | $7.99 monthly or $59.99 annually

Quinn is an audio app that provides a safe space for exploring sexual desires and fantasies from the privacy of your own headphones. An impressive library of content is easily searchable by tagged categories — the app even has a glossary for the acronyms and terms so you can find (or avoid) particular voices, scenes, tones, and more.

While porn is centered on a visual representation of a sex act and built largely on the male gaze, Quinn champions high-quality content from thoughtful creators who value consent and healthy communication. Audios are tagged with the creator’s pronouns and whether it’s made for a particular listener (M for male, F for female, NB for nonbinary, A for anyone) to make the experience as immersive as possible.

The app creates an opportunity for listeners to follow their curiosities and explore sexual scenarios, dynamics, and fantasies they might not have experienced IRL. Someone interested in power play dynamics but unsure how to start, or someone whose partner wants them to talk more during sex could find inspiration from hundreds of audios in the Quinn library. And because Quinn is female-founded and woman-run, consent, check-ins, and aftercare are commonly woven through the content — a crucial reminder that no matter how rough and filthy anyone wants to be as they indulge in their sexual desires, there is always a place for dignity, care, and respect.

Listen to Quinn
Two smartphones display different app screens: one shows a music player with a selfie, while the other features the series "Ember & Ice" and highlights massage guns in a media app with two men facing each other.
A music app screen displays "Popular Playlists" like "Best of All Time" and "Fan Faves." While browsing top tracks and play counts, unwind as if with massage guns, letting the perfect beats soothe your mood.

3. Arya

Best For | Couples (LGBTQ+ inclusive)
Features | Monthly subscription for customized date nights with roleplay experiences, curated sex toys and accessories, and an app with a personal intimacy concierge, illustrations, videos, and written guidance.
Price | Plans start at $29.95/mo

If you’re in a relationship, chances are that your life is busy — work, social calendars, hobbies, family, and health can all take up more than enough energy as it is. So it is normal for most couples to reach some level of routine in the bedroom. Which is fine! But what happens when it suddenly starts to feel a bit stale? Or what if you want to try something new but don’t know how to bring it up? The very question can feel daunting enough!

Enter Arya — a monthly subscription that’s here to answer these questions (and more!) for you, with inspirational guidance and high-end goodies shipped right to your door. And this is not just another subscription box, trust me. Everything is intentionally chosen specifically for your relationship, pulled together by a team of experts dedicated to giving your sex life the glow up you’ve been craving.

Monthly memberships offer couples a curated “Scene” that includes a roleplay or fantasy theme to explore together. After a detailed onboarding questionnaire and a consultation with the digital concierge, a team of curators handpicks the experience each month according to each couple’s preferences. Then the Scene is unlocked on the app, with inspirational stories, illustrations, videos, and guidance to help prepare users and get them in the mood. Next, a box of goodies is shipped with premium items to enhance the Scene and bring it to life — wearables, toys, treats, and more.

Many couples want to boost their intimacy levels but find that all the researching, planning, preparing, and executing new experiences is, well, a lot of work. Arya is the monthly membership that puts in the legwork for busy couples — so that all you have to do is show up and play.

Check out Arya
A smartphone displays the ARYA website's "Crave" section, featuring articles and images about edging, mutual masturbation, massage guns, and sexual exploration.
A smartphone displaying the ARYA app is positioned in front of a brown box with the ARYA logo, highlighting their innovative range of massage guns.

4. Make Love Not Porn

Best For | Everyone
Features | User-submitted real-life sex videos, accessed by subscription or rented for a fee
Price | Starting at $10 monthly, $100 annually

In the 2009 TED Talk heard round the world, Cindy Gallop launched Make Love Not Porn, a movement dedicated to destigmatizing real-world sex with open, honest dialogues that normalized connection and consent. Gallop argued that porn was serving as the de facto primary resource for sex education of young men, creating a generation of dangerous misconceptions that were then being applied in real-life encounters. What came next was the video platform by the same name, where user-generated sex videos are screened and hand-selected by a team of human curators, so that all featured content is “consensual, contextualized, and porn-cliche free.”

As a revenue-sharing business model, half of the proceeds from each rental go to the user who contributed their #RealWorldSex. With an emphasis on real-life intimate encounters, the platform is naturally inclusive, featuring singles, couples, and groups of every sexual orientation and interest. There are strict house rules for community members and user-submitted content — because there can’t be safety without boundaries.

For anyone interested in the erotic experience of watching sex without any of the unethical and harmful trademarks of conventional porn, Make Love Not Porn is worth checking out.

Visit Make Love Not Porn
A person stands on stage with arms crossed in front of a projected light bulb graphic containing an image of the Earth, presenting innovative ideas about sustainability inspired by technologies like massage guns.
Cindy Gallop at TED2009, Session 3: Reconnect, Feb. 4, 2009, Long Beach, CA.
credit: TED / Asa Mathat
A couple lies on a bed facing each other, smiling and appearing intimate. Below, a comment describes how passionate, relatable sex videos can have an emotional impact—just like the soothing relief offered by massage guns.

5. Know Your Norm

Best For | Women looking for mobility and confidence support in the bedroom
Features | Live and virtual classes, online community, newsletter, app
Price | Starting at $69 per class; $5 monthly newsletter subscription

Intimate Behavior Coach Coco Dulcine knows that there are many barriers keeping women from enjoying sex and their bodies to the fullest — starting with their mindset. Which is why she started Know Your Norm, an online community and virtual classroom where she helps women get out of their heads and into their bodies for the best sex of their lives.

 Virtual classes feature replays from live workshops, where Coco gives hands-on, interactive demonstrations to break down whatever might be preventing participants from full intimate satisfaction. In her online community, newsletter, and podcast, she facilitates real conversations and offers real support for whatever the community needs — from chronic overthinking to body image anxiety to functional mobility discomfort.

All women will benefit from her practical, smart, open advice, but her virtual class replays are especially useful for anyone navigating sex with physical accommodations like joint pain, larger bellies, endurance challenges, and more.

Check out Know Your Norm
Two women perform a dance routine on stage, with one woman kneeling while the other stands behind her—massage guns resting nearby hint at how they recover after intense performances. An audience sits around them watching.
Two women pose confidently against a green background with massage guns nearby; one is sitting and smiling, the other stands with a hand behind her head. Text promotes shame-free womanhood and intimacy.

6. Thistle and Spire

Best For | Everyone
Features | Lingerie designed for gender and size inclusivity
Price | Starting at $38

Thistle and Spire is a small, woman-founded lingerie brand that is bucking the status quo of the intimate fashion industry. Completely self-funded, the brand is able to stay true to their vision to celebrate bodies of all shapes, sizes, ages, and genders through meticulously crafted, high quality lingerie. What does that mean? It means you won’t find the same old black lace push-up bras on the standard sample size model as you scroll through their site. Instead, models of all shapes and sizes wear bodysuits, corsets, panties, and more with truly unique motifs that you won’t find anywhere else — think Medusa-inspired snakes, trippy mushrooms, and a set made entirely of delicately draped pearls and chains.

The ethos for Thistle and Spire is clear — a belief that every human deserves to embrace their inherent sensuality, starting with the first layer. Almost every piece is designed to have multiple adjustment points, giving a several-size margin for the many changes a body might go through over time. While they make pieces specifically designed for sex toys and play (think harnesses for strap-ons and chokers with leads), they also make more functional, everyday pieces, like period panties and bodysuits that can be worn to dinner.

If there’s any wisdom to the old adage that we should “dress for the job we want,” then maybe dressing as the daring, provocative, sexual being we are deep inside might be the first step to manifesting the sex life of our dreams.

Shop Thistle and Spire
A person wearing purple lace lingerie and black stockings poses against a black background, holding one of the latest massage guns.
A person wearing black mesh lingerie and long black gloves poses in front of red curtains, with sleek massage guns displayed stylishly nearby.

Featured image is from LELO

Stephanie H. Fallon is a Contributing Editor at The Good Trade. She is a writer originally from Houston, Texas and holds an MFA from the Jackson Center of Creative Writing at Hollins University. She lives with her family in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, where she writes about motherhood, artmaking, and work culture. Since 2022, she has been reviewing sustainable home and lifestyle brands, fact-checking sustainability claims, and bringing her sharp editorial skills to every product review. Say hi on Instagram or on her website.